I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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