I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
false alarm. still invincible.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
