how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
you made out with another girl for some wings
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
