I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize