Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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