can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
