Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
