He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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