My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize