Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
