I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
