We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
