He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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