i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
