i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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