you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The Olympian is in my bed
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
