i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
