My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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