8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
