I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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