i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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