I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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