"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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