One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Be still, my beating vagina.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
