I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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