i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
