Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize