I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize