I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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