I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize