so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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