I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
