i would punch a child for taco bell
Fuck appropriateness.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
