I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
