You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
