just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
only you would photoshop your dick
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
