hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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