As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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