He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
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It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
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When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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