Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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