She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
