Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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