just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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