You took a bar mat shot.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
