Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
