There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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