I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize