you didnt know i had herpes?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
this hospital has no fireball
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
