he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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