Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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