laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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