thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
and she was petting her beer can
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize