My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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