I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
How's work?
Spinning.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
