You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That's when you crack a 10am beer
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
