Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
