i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
