I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
