i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
