the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
