I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize