The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize