That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
