Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
