so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
